Posts tagged insomniyeah!
Twist Street
Sam Westing, Barney Northrup, Sandy McSouthers, Julian R. Eastman, & Me
Charlie Brooker on the “NHS reform Bill.”
Nnng. Can’t sleep— tried reading; didn’t help. Gave up and started surfing the internet. Not much to report— another actress (but one I never heard of because I don’t watch Glee) had her nakedy cell phone pictures leaked? Remember back in the 80’s when we’d worry that Matthew Broderick would use his hacking abilities to play globothermonuclear war with evil supercomputers. Nope— turned out that hackers would mostly just focus on stealing photos that girls would take of themselves using miraculous computer phone technology we never imagined. How did Matthew Broderick not see that coming? (Also: why are ladies always cropping out their heads on their naked cell phone photos? Are there guys who get excited by headless women? I just find that scary. I never wanted to fuck the legend of sleepy hollow).
What else is out there— well, people talking about that John Carter movie. Man, I find that conversation more bizarre than the computer phone actress nudity sci-fi crime world we live in. Sci-fi crime was unexpected, but I saw Johnny Mnemonic and I enjoy nudity from other people if not from myself, so it makes sense. But people talking about John Carter are just weird. I’m seeing it on Friday, but— it’s like everyone’s mad at the marketing team. ”Damn you, marketing team.” Dude, they made a movie about some anonymous long-hair glam bohunk running around the planet Mars, waving a sword around at Jar Jar dudes. What’s the controversy? I’m more confused when people do want to see that kinda shit— I’m more befuddled that people want to see Hurt Locker frowny-face his way through The Avengers, which just looks all dull except for that one trailer. And granted, I’m in because it’s Andrew Stanton, and I hear it’s actually a fun movie, but— if the Average Joe on the street doesn’t know who Andrew Stanton is, I don’t blame ‘em. ”From the makers of Finding Nemo, a movie about a barbarian himbo who can jump awesome”— it’s like, I don’t know how great a hook that is for most people. ”From the makers of Erin Brokovich comes a peanut butter & Jelly sandwich that has a radio in it.” Uh, I guess…? That sounds tasty…?
I enjoyed that Vulture article where it made Stanton sound like an egomaniac, though that ringed of spin. But… when do you ever hear movie fans complimenting a marketing team? Not often. There’s this narrative people want to buy into of the suits keeping the creative people down, but… Or “It inspired Star Wars.” So did my dick! (In theory!) (My dick is extremely hairy and I think that’s where Lucas got the wookies from…?). (Gross!) And some argument that it’ll affect the rest of the movies we see— I don’t really care if they make fewer 200+ million dollar special effects extravaganzas. Bridesmaids wouldn’t have been any better if it’d had a giant arena of abominable snowmen in it, or whatever the crap. I could give a shit because they stopped making movies for people my age, like, 15-20 years ago— that’s why we all watch shows on AMC now.
What else is going on… GOP nominations are pretty close? I don’t envy those voters. Do you vote for the shitty rich guy, the hate-filled religious kook or the human garbage? Tough call. Some people who lean left find it all hilarious, but it’s not going to be funny come 2016. In 2016, we’ll get to choose between our one-dimensional stereotypes. It’ll come down to a neck-and-neck race between a Sentient Bong That Loves Redistributing Money to Crime-Loving Poor People, and an Ineffectual Weakling who Loves Running Away from a Fight, and maybe Dennis Kucinich. On the one hand, the Sentient Bong will speak to our most cherished values, but on the other hand, we LOVE nominating ineffectual weaklings, whenever possible, so…. 2016 is going to be nuts. I wonder what sci-fi crime will be like in 2016— I bet our finest science-fiction criminals will have invented all sorts of new ways to look at titties by 2016. Just imagine! 2016 will be like the John Carter of titties, just a fantasy-scape of glam derring-do hacker-crackers devising diabolical new ways to find out what nipples look like.
Okay. Well. I’m not tired but I guess I’ll try sleep again. Sorry to babble.
Khaliyl Iloyi.
Emperor of the North (1973): This got recommended to me a couple years back, something like that, but it had just sat in my instant queue— I don’t know how long it’s been there but I finally noticed it; couldn’t sleep, so. 6 years after the Dirty Dozen, and a year before the Longest Yard, Robert Aldrich and Lee Marvin teamed up for a hobo epic. Lee Marvin plays A No. 1 (I guess John Carpenter was a fan), basically the best of the Great Depression hobos (the Great Depression, when “hobos ruled the land”), facing off against a crazy-eyed Ernest Borgnine, playing a sadistic railroad man who takes deranged pleasure in brutally murdering the hobos who dare to ride his train. Keith Carradine plays a younger, new jack hobo.
It’s an old hobo fighting an old corporate-sponsored murderer, both trying to stave off feeling threatened by the next generation through the magic of railroad violence.
Lee Marvin’s first scene in the movie might be pretty much the best character introduction you could want out of a Lee Marvin movie— Lee Marvin has a really swell first scene. That scene’s not on youtube though, somehow, but the weirdly jaunty theme song is. I like that in the 70’s, there weren’t just movies about hobo violence, but they also had happy, toe-tapping soundtracks. Trailer.
The climactic finale of Fast & The Furious 4. I thank you, USA Network and Vin Diesel, my insomnia thanks you, and America thanks you. I don’t know why this makes me so happy; I’m guessing lack of sleep and lack of basic nutrition. Vitamins would probably solve this. But in the meantime— Vin Diesel, one of our finest thespians, at least in the genre of that which is both fast as well as furious. I just want to know everything about this scene. Was this an ad lib? Were there studio notes about what Vin Diesel should say? Did they have other lines that they tested with test audiences? How cognizant are the filmmakers of the other potential meanings this scene might have (i.e. if you view the Fast & Furious movies as being a love story between Paul Walker and Vin Diesel where their cars are essentially their penises, which I think the filmmakers are in on the joke of by now… it’s arguably super-funny that 4 ends with Vin Diesel fucking a bad guy’s head to death and then sneering “pussy” in a condescending way, even if I don’t exactly know what it “means” or what my raging erection “means”)? I want a Truffaut-Hitchcock type book but Walker-Diesel and only about this one scene.
True story: Fast & Furious 4 wasn’t as good as Fast & Furious 5 because it didn’t have The Rock in it. My review of Fast & Furious 4: ”Not enough The Rock.” True story.
Waking up at 5am Needing to Google Whether There was an Episode of Family Ties where Michael J. Fox Struggled with Insomnia.
Is that a thing? That’s a thing that normal people do, right? I remember it being a really great episode though, is the thing. And Michael Gross? Am I right? Great on Family Ties; great in Tremors; great on Parks & Rec; great in the erotic dreams I just woke up from that I must never, never speak of. Who needs sleep?
Can’t sleep, which is really the perfect time to watch Charlie Brooker. I just find his voice so reassuring. I think this latest series might be my favorite thing he’s ever done (including Nathan Barley and Dead Set), for that quality. The fact he’s making fun of British pop culture, which is largely alien to me, really adds to it for me, too, in a “look how fucking weird people as a species are” kind of way.
