Posts tagged I Love You Too Much Internet
Twist Street
Sam Westing, Barney Northrup, Sandy McSouthers, Julian R. Eastman, & Me
I think Louise’s heart was in the right place, but I think it was a mistake to try to force him — she came off as being condescending. I thought she should have calmly stressed the importance of it, letting him know and feel that she’s on his side whether he decides to take literacy classes or not. Then, back off and let him make his own decision. And, yes the commercial was bomb, by the way, This is one of my favorite episodes for that reason.”
“If he didn’t want Weezie snooping in his life, then he could have just come up with a better excuse. He could have said he lost his glasses. Maybe, deep down, he wanted someone to help him?”
“I can’t blame Walter for being so touchy. Louise had no right to be soooo demanding & pushy! If Walter wants to learn how to read, he’ll do so when he’s damn good & ready! I agreed with George until uppity Louise got to him! George really didn’t care that Walter couldn’t read, because Walter’s a great artist, that’s all that matters! Damn Louise! What would Edith Bunker think of her change of attitude? I miss the kinder, gentler “Weezie”. R.I.P. Isabel Sanford. I miss you.
I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that’s not fucking possible if you’re going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON’T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That’s not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure you don’t go to anymore night time events.
Excerpt from the “Most Deranged Sorority Girl E-Mail You Will Ever Read.”
The internet’s making fun of her and all, but me, I like this girl. She’s got moxie.
Old Man Meme – create your own!
I can’t just decide to be sad about Bowie’s death if I know he’s still alive. Every time I try, I end up thinking about him as a concept that can be used to examine other things. It’s almost like I’m trying to simulate my response to David Bowie’s death (and totally failing). For example: In my previous message, I asked you a question about the politics of glam rock. I wrote that on Saturday night. Today is Tuesday. It now feels like a totally idiotic thing for me to worry about, or to even inject into our conversation. I don’t even want to go back and re-read what I wrote, because I know it’s ridiculous. Do I actually believe the news of David Bowie’s demise will make me go, “Hmm … glam rock. What did it mean politically?” Or is that just some attempt at simulating who I think I am (or maybe who I sometimes pretend to be)?
5 Shockingly Advanced Ancient Buildings That Shouldn’t Exist
#5. Derinkuyu’s Massive, Ancient Underground City
Derinkuyu’s underground city was discovered in the 1960s in Turkey, when a modern house above ground was being renovated. Much to the relief of everyone present, the 18-story underground city was abandoned and not swarming with mole people.
Hidden for centuries right under everyone’s noses, Derinkuyu is just the largest of hundreds of underground complexes built by we’re-not-sure-who-exactly around the eighth century B.C. To understand just what’s so phenomenal about this feat of engineering, imagine someone handing you a hammer and chisel and telling you to go dig out a system of underground chambers capable of sustaining 20,000 people.
(via iamdavidbrothers)
Yelp Reviews of the Barnes and Noble at the Grove
- The women’s [rest]room had paper towels and toilet paper on the floor and smelled so strongly of urine I had to hold my breath and then breathe into my t-shirt.
- It was just the best part about my trip to LA.
- If you’re a condescending, rude a-hole, you should apply to Barnes & Noble because thats the only kind of person they hire. [..] I’ve been shopping here for over 4 years but I’ve finally had it.
- While in Barnes and Noble yesterday January 2, I checked in at Four square with a photo of a cookbook. The post showed up on friends site with a porn book advertised for sale at B&N.
- I enjoy shopping at the Grove, but this particular bookstore is rude. They won’t let you sit on the floor[.]
- Every cashier who’s ever rung me up, always looks bored or has that “I really wish I weren’t here right now” look on their faces. […] Anyone who thinks the service here is great, is just as much a degenerate as the people who work here.
- I just moved back to NYC from LA, and when I lived in LA I would always go to this bookstore, sit in the upstairs cafe near the window, and watch all the people walk down the main street of the outdoor mall. It made me feel like I was back in NYC.
- I came to this barnes and noble for my first book signing for Weird Al and it was awesome!
- Given that my life is very similar to George or Elaine on Seinfeld, I do expect some drama to follow me wherever I go, but my experience was ridiculous!
- I’ve seen Nathan Fillion, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Stan Lee here!
- Barnes and Noble here are bunch of ASSHOLES. I had to do a return and the Security Guard told me to leave and put my dogs outside. I have 2 teacup dogs, I don’t know anyone who would just leave these kinds of (easily abducted) dogs outside. I asked if I could just carry them in my arms and process my return. Security Guard said no. I asked the counter lady if I could, she flatly said “NO”. FUCK YOU BARNES AND NOBLE.
- There is only one reason why I visit this Barnes & Noble.. STARBUCKS on the top level. I see they are trying this new thing where they are coming out with more healthy foods such as salads, fruit smoothies, kashi bars and even fruit. Yeah, I said it.
- I had two problems with the place. The first is the 20 something freeloaders who clog the isles reading Barnes and Nobles books for free. I had to step over I don’t know how many of these good for nothings. […] The other issue I have with them is the line at the very small Starbucks there. I [..] Last time I was there, I had to wait about 20 minutes for a iced latte.
- You couldn’t even sit on the floor because they claimed it was a fire hazard.
This is what happens when Guy Fieri, he of Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar, doesn’t buy the full URL. Go big or go home.
The Olive Garden:
22 pounds of wine-studded Kalamata olives tumbled over chopped iceberg lettuce and served in a trough, family-style. Ranch hose optional, but recommended.Wash it down with some delicious pork lotion and enjoy the trip to Flavor Town.
EDITED TO ADD: Oh, almost every joke in this was stolen from someone else without their permission. Funny menu; shitty behavior.
CNN story on effects of pot on drivers: ”The real reason I’m posting this video is because Addy, the young woman … dressed like a cartoon pot smoker, is a tremendous human being.” Addy!!!
EDITED TO ADD(y): Addy outtakes!
This is an original production-issued script for the very first 1988 Bruce Willis action-adventure movie, Die Hard.
With thanks to Russell Buckley
Seriously had no idea until this moment that Die Hard was based on a novel. Now, everything is different.
Even more amazing, from wikipedia:
Nothing Lasts Forever was originally written as a sequel to The Detective so it could be made into a follow-up film starring Frank Sinatra as Joe Leland. But when Frank Sinatra declined the role, it was then changed into a sequel to the Arnold Schwarzenegger film Commando, but when Schwarzenegger turned down the role, the script was retooled in 1988 for the standalone story, Die Hard, which would later become one of the most famous and beloved action films of all time.And the book was inspired by Towering Inferno!
(via iamdavidbrothers)
This hilarious OK Cupid profile got Joe Kwaczala banned from the site. (via)
The internet is magic. “The Sexual History of 30 Rock’s Jenna Maroney and Mickey Rourke, in Pictures”
Left this for my parents.
THAT’S IT. THIS IS WHAT I’M DOING. THIS IS FUCKING PERFECT. LAUREL, YOU ARE THE BEST.
Jiro dreams of sushi, Questlove dreams of Instagramming it
A masterclass in fine dining photography etiquette
Questlove is my hero.
BAT! DURSTON!
BAT DURSTON P.I vs BAT DURSTON I.P. One a hard bitten private eye, the other a patent examiner trainee in Newport.
BAT DURSTON M.D vs BAT DURSTON D.M. One a hard bitten pill-popping doctor, the other a shoe.
BAT DURSTON J.D vs BAT DURSTON D.J! One is a French lawyer with a penchant for taking his shirt off in swanky apartments! The other presses “play” on a spotify playlist in seedy bars and gets drunk on Tuborg! But what happens when they meet BAT DURSTON…. ESQ??
I could go on…
BAT DURSTON ESQ vs BAT DURSTON SQUEE!
