“About 11:30 p.m., a 911 dispatcher got a call from a cellphone, and after listening for about a minute, realized that the people on the other end planned to commit a crime, Fresno police Sgt. Jaime Rios said.”

(Source: Los Angeles Times)

(Source: fox40.com)

vicemag:

The Hired Murderers of Medellín, Colombia, Are Laying Low—for Now

The Russian was 13 years old when he first killed a man. He has no regrets about it; the man he killed had mistreated the Russian’s little sister. He built a weapon called a chupa chupa—a blade tied to a length of PVC pipe—and plunged it into his victim’s neck. “I learned a man’s most fragile area is his jugular,” he said, adding that he was arrested for the murder but walked free due to a lack of evidence.

In Medellín, Colombia, during the 80s, the Russian (who, like all of the criminals interviewed for this story, wishes to remain anonymous—“the Russian” is not even his real nickname) was recognized as a talented and valuable hit man. Pablo Escobar, the drug lord of drug lords, was in the midst of building his trafficking empire, which of course led to constant altercations with rivals and the police. The dirtiest of the work was carried out by gang members from the slums who came to be known as combos, so it was all too easy for someone like the Russian to land a full-time job as a sicario, or “hired gun.”

The Russian’s most striking features are his red hair and a series of burn scars on his arms, which he calls his résumé. He got them when he was a young man working in a cocaine-processing laboratory. “One day a container of sulfuric acid spilled all over my body,” he recalled. “I spent six days in a coma—I had second-degree burns and a broken arm and foot. It’s not easy getting out of such a place alive. But I was lucky enough for them to think I was dead and just throw me out. The following day, a passing mule driver found me.” 

After a year and a half of recovery, the Russian gathered some money he had buried for safekeeping and went after the people who had left him for dead. “A friend gave me a .38,” he said, before pausing, as if he was reliving the scene inside his head. “I killed them all.” 

Continue

“his résumé”

(via constellation-funk)

California Highway Patrol pulls over Easter Bunny for not wearing helmet.

Meanwhile in Chicago:

“It’s the oddest thing I’ve ever seen in 20-plus years of law enforcement,” Capt. Mike Dixon of the Madison County Sheriff’s Department said of the skull-like tattoo over the suspect’s face. “I’ve seen horns on foreheads and stars on necks, but I’ve never seen a skull on a face.

“I can’t explain it. It’s just odd.”

film-dot-com:

BILL MURRAY FOILS TOKYO BANK ROBBERY

…because *of course* he did. honestly, the moment i saw that headline, i was just like “yup, that sounds about right.” oh, bill murray, a superhero for the modern age. here’s the story from The Prevailing Ethos:

Tokyo, Japan – A bank robber was apprehended today in Tokyo after stopping to talk with none other than Bill Murray. “The man robbed the Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi, ran out, saw Bill Murray walking on the street and stopped to talk to him. That’s when authorities were able to apprehend him,” Tokyo Police Chief Yakuza Mori told reporters.

Bill Murray who is in Tokyo promoting a new movie told reporters about the incident. “I saw this man in the street running towards me with a bag in his hand. Then he suddenly stopped when he saw me. He asked me if I was Bob Harris, the character I played in Lost in Translation. I told him, ‘sure, why not’.

Then he started telling me how much he loved me and how great he thought I was.

“I was polite, I told him that was very nice of him to say. Then kind of out of nowhere, police showed up and tackled the man,” Murray said.

“Some people might call me a hero, but I’m no hero. The real heroes today are the men and women of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department.” 

FILM.COM.

“A suspect being pursued by the Los Angeles Police Department opted to remain seated in his vehicle after the car was disabled with a spike strip, and inhale an unidentified intoxicant via inflated balloons.”

(Source: laist.com)

NY Times article on mobster nicknames, inspired by Wednesday’s arrest of Genovese crime figure Papa Smurf Carmine Franco:  ”The authorities arrested nearly 125 suspected mobsters in a swoop in January 2011. Among the names on the indictment were Vinny Carwash, Tony Bagels and Junior Lollipops.”

Junior Lollipops killed a nun (!) in a hit-on-a-porn-king-gone-wrong scene and died in prison, but the article announcing his death started with “Junior Lollipops has gone to that great big candy store in the sky”…

lifeofbk:

starline:

Guns are being put away! #traffic #losangeles #bankrobbery #110North

Hearing that thing get loaded and racked right next to my car was a little bit intimidating.

(via tumblangeles)