Posts tagged Here's to Crime
Posts tagged Here's to Crime
King County prosecutors contend Paul J. Hunter started shooting shortly after 2 a.m. on Aug. 26 at a man and a woman whose argument had disturbed his street-side liaison. “You’re dead mother (expletive),” Hunter shouted at the pair before opening fire, according to charging papers. “You’re dead.”
Hunter, 64, was arrested shortly after the shooting.
[Hunter was with an unidentified prostitute in an alleyway] when the purported victims walked past engaged in a loud argument, according to charging papers. The argument spooked the woman fellating Hunter. She fled, the detective said, leaving Hunter upset.
Hunter hitched up his tuxedo pants – for reasons unclear in charging papers he’d gone formal – before drawing his pistol, shouting that he would kill them and firing one shot, the detective continued. The apparent victims cowered behind a parked car as Hunter walked away.
Hunter, who has no criminal history, declined to make a statement to police and was booked into King County Jail on suspicion of assault. According to court papers, he had the pistol on his person when he was arrested, as well as $190, a concealed weapons permit and a comb.
(Source: Los Angeles Times)
Holy shit, this guy’s Wikipedia page is fucking crazy. First of all, his wife has been “disappeared” for the last 18 years. Also a lady who was his long-time friend who was believed to have knowledge of his wife’s “disappearance” was found murdered “execution-style”— “Durst was questioned in both cases but not charged.” So, there’s that.
He then moved to Texas in 2000 and “began cross-dressing to divert attention from the disappearance” of his wife. Then, they started finding body parts of his elderly neighbor in Galveston Bay. He gets arrested, released on bail, becomes Ameria’s first “Billion-dollar fugitive” until he gets caught at a Wegmans in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania “trying to steal a chicken sandwich and a Band-Aid, even though he had $500 cash in his pocket. A police search of his rented car yielded $37,000 in cash, two guns, marijuana and [his murder victim’s] driver’s license.” Then, he goes on trial, admits “to using a paring knife, two saws and an axe to dismember" his neighbor’s body, but claims he shot his elderly neighbor in the face in self-defense, and a Texas jury buys it and acquits him! He gets some minor amount of time because of “destroying evidence” (i.e. dismembering his neighbor’s body), gets parole almost immediately, and then violates parole almost immediately. His own brother: “He’ll kill again, I have no doubt, the question is who is next?”
Then, he bought a townhouse in Harlem (located next to a mortuary!) and now he publicly urinates on candy. Because ha ha he’s rich and this is America.
William Friedkin. Racehorse got a billionaire called Cullen Davis off on a murder charge where people witnessed him committing murder and then a subsequent murder-for-hire charge (where he was recorded hiring someone to murder a judge). From his Wikipedia page:
At a late 1970s American Bar Association seminar in New York, Mr. Haynes explained how to plead in the alternative:
Say you sue me because you say my dog bit you. Well, now this is my defense:
- My dog doesn’t bite.
- And second, in the alternative, my dog was tied up that night.
- And third, I don’t believe you really got bit.
- And fourth, I don’t have a dog.
My long-running “there’s a psycho hiding underneath my bed" nightmare actually happened to somebody! (That’s my #2 nightmare after #1, which is lying in a dark room in an empty apartment, trying to fall asleep, and then feeling a human tongue lick my foot). Here’s the best part of the article:
Satisfied that the homeowners weren’t in danger, the cops left. But not for long, because that’s when the noises started.
Nightmares come true! Yay…?
His defense lawyer talking to the New York Times: “He has a skill set that is very unique"…? Goddamn, that is the tagline of every movie I ever want to see. I’m just jealous of the lawyer getting to say that out loud. A hacker named after a professional wrestler who helped take down other hackers to help his female cousins…? I would see that movie. JJ Abrams is probably trying to figure out how to cast Benedict Cumberpatch as “Hector Xavier Monsegur" right this second…
'Mystery pooper' disappears after Ypsilanti police speak with person of interest
#YPSIPOOPER billboards were posted in Ypsilanti last month by Adams Outdoor Advertising.
YPSILANTI — The “Mystery Pooper” — the person who has been defecating on playground slides at Ypsilanti’s prospect park — appears to have stopped his behavior after police have spoken with a person of interest.
"We want to make clear to the public that we have only talked to a person of interest," Lt. Deric Gress wrote in a press release. "To call this person a ‘suspect,’ or rumors that this person was taken into custoday, arrested, or charged with a crime is without merit and false."
The “mystery pooper” had been defecating on slides at Prospect Park for more than six months. To help catch the person, police installed security cameras in the park and identified a person of interest last month.
Local band Black Jake & the Carnies released a song to help flush out the “mystery pooper” last weekend.
I went to my first strip club in Ypsilanti. An elderly stripper cornered me and basically made me buy her a coke— at least, as a younger person, I really felt persuaded that things would have gone pretty south if I didn’t buy that coke. I didn’t go back to strip clubs for at least 5-6 years after that, terrified that strip clubs were filled with women in their mid-40’s who very aggressively desired soda. I had a selfish desire to hoard soda-pop for myself that trumped even my basest instincts. That sweet, sugary nectar. ”Bacchus’s Nephew,” the ancient Spartan would have called it if they’d invented Cherry Coke, but they didn’t— too busy working on their abs.
But I’d like to think me buying that lady a soda was me doing my “Civic Doody.” I’d really like to think so.
Doris Payne — demure, elegant and 83 — is a thief, as prolific and subtly conniving as they come. She doesn’t use muscle and she doesn’t rely on guns. Instead, between numerous stints behind bars, for 50 years she has leaned on charming misdirection to steal pricey jewelry from unsuspecting merchants all over the globe.
Read a little more about her in this 2005 profile piece. — Tanya B.
“John Kennedy, president of the New York-based Jewelers’ Security Alliance, said that over the decades, his organization has sent “innumerable bulletins” about Payne to its members and law enforcement agencies. What makes the now 83-year-old unique, he said, is the length of her criminal career. "I’ve actually seen an old rap sheet of hers," Kennedy said, starting to laugh. "It was so long. You can’t believe how long it was — it was like 50 pages."
Doris Payne, the 83-year-old jewelry thief whose rap sheet dates back decades, pleaded guilty Monday to stealing a diamond ring from a Riverside County jewelry store.
[John Hall, a spokesman for the Riverside County district attorney’s office] said his office objected to the plea and sentence, instead arguing for a maximum of six years in custody. He cited “numerous aggravating factors.” ”Those include a criminal history dating back to 1952, crimes having been committed across the United States as well as internationally, that she used her age to gain the trust of victims, a previous failure to successfully complete probation and parole, and that she was on parole when she committed the crime charged in this case,” Hall wrote in an email.
Payne’s notoriety now borders on fame as her globe-spanning exploits have been featured on TV, in newspapers and in a documentary, “The Life and Crimes of Doris Payne.” There has also been talk of Halle Berry starring in a movie about her life. Law enforcement officials across the U.S. said they had investigated her, recalling a demure, elegant woman who repeatedly conned unsuspecting jewelers and once listed her occupation in court papers as “jewel thief.”