Iron Man 3 (2013) blew for me. Not completely— there’s a half hour in the middle where Iron Man straight up leaves the rest of the movie and goes into a different, better movie— that whole part’s pretty good, so (a) it was a bummer when it stopped, and (b) it got my hopes up before the cut-scene of an ending came and wouldn’t go away. A couple action scenes have Shane Black moves on the edges, if you can see around the special effects. A scene here; a moment there. Not enough.
For the most part, boring, boring, boring— this movie was just super boring. I was so bored! The most entertained I ever was, was before the movie started, during the trailer for the next Fast & Furious movie. (That trailer— it seemed like someone went “Hey, what’s a bunch of RIDICULOUS shit we can throw in a movie” rather than like, “here’s how to put a bunch of CGI into a fucking shipyard”)(they put CGI into a shipyard already in the stupid A-Team movie! they did that already). It wasn’t as bad as the second one but neither is getting rammed in the balls by a football helmet, so who fucking cares.
The bad guys especially— their Evil Plan was lost on me, so I felt like the stakes were really fuzzy the whole time and I never felt like there was any urgency to the story at all… I just found all of the Bad Guys’ moves to be completely inexplicable rather than story-driven or character-driven…
Downey Jr.— whatever made seeing him in the first one so fun went away for me half-way through Due Date. Gwyneth Paltrow’s stomach is all Goop’d and weird-looking; I just don’t like her. Don Cheadle plays Wasted Don Cheadle again, for the umpteenth time. Jon Favreau has eaten a lot of food. ”She didn’t leave an impression,” said Rebecca Hall’s mom. Guy Pearce— well, I just like Guy Pearce in stuff. Ben Kingsley was great in Without a Clue.
I don’t know— I’m as big a Shane Black fan as there is, but you could tell he was just one voice in a room full of people. Fucking boring Marvel people. The thing I like about Black’s movies is how he can have his endings work not only because the action has resolved itself but because his screwed-up main characters have transcended their limitations, their neuroses, their fucked-up pasts— Joe Hallenbeck dancing a jig, right? They tried to have that here by giving Iron Man anxiety orlame-ass panic-attacks to overcome, but it never went further than surface-deep so … So I felt like the thing I like most about his work was missing and/or flawed…?