I was walking to my car this morning and noticed that I had that fucking Pearl Jam song Jeremy stuck in my head. And as soon as I noticed that, it was naturally followed by the thought of “Are you goddamn kidding me? What the hell is wrong with you, brain?" As you would probably expect. I don’t want that song stuck in my head! (a) I never really liked that song (and I liked some Pearl Jam fine and I liked grunge— this isn’t an anti-Pearl-Jam-grunge thing), and (b) this isn’t 1993! Goddamnit, brain. ”CLEARLY I REMEMBER PICKING ON THE BOY”— what? WHAT? What the fuck are you yapping about, Seattle??? Get out of my head! This was a day with a few deadlines, a lot to get done, so I needed to go in to work all pumped up and all guns blazing and with the right energy, wind at the sails, and… and instead boo-hoo, Jeremy’s falling. I don’t really have a point in mentioning this. I just want to shove a Q-tip deep enough into my ear to damage the parts of my brain where the lyrics of that song are apparently stored in significant detail. When did I hear that song enough times to know that many of the words?? We unleashed the lion…? Fuck you, Eddie Vedder. That’s my only point, which I felt needed memorializing: my only point is fuck you, Eddie Vedder. Thank you for your consideration.