From Wikihow’s article “How to Be Like James Bond.” Remember: if you want to be like James Bond, take a shower, showering is pretty key to be Bond-like, and instead of raping girls, don’t rape girls. Shower, yes, rape, no. Maybe you should write that down on the palm of your hands— putting notes on your hands might technically be cheating, but if you’re being sufficiently like James Bond, no one will catch you cheating. (And even if they catch you, who’s going to disagree with someone with “Don’t rape” written on their hands? Where would they even start to respond to that??)
(Being a basically feeble person who enjoys James Bond movies, anytime a James Bond movie comes out its preceded and followed by me going “I don’t know how to do anything cool— I’m going to learn things and turn this losing-streak around, by gum” for about a month in either direction. It usually just ends in me buying a new pair of pants, reading about Monte Carlo on Wikipedia, and having an unpleasant experience drinking something that gives me a headache; see above re: feeble…).