Twist Street

Sam Westing, Barney Northrup, Sandy McSouthers, Julian R. Eastman, & Me

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Officers stopped him about 2:30 a.m. on Sept. 12 when he was walking against a crosswalk. He told them he was headed to his cousin’s home, but couldn’t provide the address, according to police. He allegedly was sweaty and appeared nervous. During a pat down, police found pornographic photos hidden inside his hat. When officers searched a backpack and two bags, which contained [14 pieces of women’s underwear, six bras, four pieces of children’s underwear, two women’s bathing suits, two children’s dolls, and women’s clothing], they also found bandage tape, hair conditioner, a knife and a watch, police said.

He told police the women’s clothing and undergarments belonged to his girlfriend, but she told officers she “had no clue” who owned the items and didn’t know why Oureoles was walking around Glendale at that hour.
The headline of this article isn’t officially “Man with Porno in His Hat has Girlfriend and You Don’t” but I’m choosing to read between the lines, on this one.  (Though “Glendale police seek info on suspected underwear bandit” is an okay headline, but I’d probably like any headline with the word “Bandit” in it somewhere). 

Filed under Here's to Crime Civilization is Doomed.