I’ve been here too long so I don’t really know if this is just something to LA or if this is just a thing in life: the people in the office building in which I work, they just jump into open elevator doors and start hitting buttons, based upon the optimistic assumption that the elevator is travelling in whichever direction they need it to be. To be clear, this isn’t the elevator’s fault— the elevator’s carapace has a lighting system that indicates, GREEN ARROW UP if it’s going up and RED ARROW DOWN if it’s going down. But the scamps, in their exuberance— they’re not even looking. I feel as though this happens every day, if not more than once a day. Aren’t there better things for these aspiring Kenny Rogers…s to gamble on? Or is this just a special class of Angeleno for whom this city is an endless disappointment of Willy-Wonka-ish dimensions? “Why is this elevator not traversing sideways to my destination? This is unacceptable! I demand for this elevator to go slantways and longways and backways!” Or is it not a LA thing and a nationwide problem? Or just a problem in my building? The arrows are color-coded. They’re arrows— it’s not hard to decipher their meaning. They’re not being asked to decipher the lights at the end of Close Encounters.