Crazy Stupid Love (2011): I enjoyed this some because it had some enjoyable parts and an enjoyable cast. Except I just got confused because … at first, I thought it was going to be a movie about Ryan Gosling being a skeezy guy who goes and romances Emma Stone and learns “Hey, maybe don’t be skeezy”— which I’m totally down to watch. But then just as that story gets started, they both disappear from the movie for this long stretch. And then for a while, I was thinking the movie’s about Steve Carrell and this totally not-believable story about his marriage falling apart. Which… okay, fine, I guess…
Except then the end, it turns out the whole movie’s actually about Steve Carrell’s completely creepy son. The son has one of the all-time worst movie haircuts, and this totally horrible story about him getting hormones’d for the first time by his babysitter(?). The final shot of the movie is him looking like a creep directly at camera, like it’s the creepy version of the end of 400 Blows or something…
I liked the parts where it was Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosling or Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. I really didn’t like the ending. It was one of those endings where someone jumps in front of a crowd of people and is like, “here’s what I think about love.” I get why scenes like that are in movies but I probably won’t ever have the courage to do that, at the Home Depot or wherever, so I’d rather movies not give ladies unrealistic expectations. I just want more romantic movies to end with guy texting girls, “Hey, you looked okay or whatever. We should go see the new Batman movie together, or not, whatever, I don’t care.” And then girls being, like, Okay with that because probably something better’s not coming along. Keep expectations low, Hollywood!
Safe House (2012): I liked the action/direction, but boring writing. Everyone everwhere has seen every moment of the story 5 million times, and Ryan Reynolds is pretty, pretty lame, but the action/suspense-y/thriller bits were decent enough to pass the time.
Fright Night (2011): Mostly lame.
The Descendents (2011): I just thought this was boring.
