From the Apocalypse issue of Lucky Peach. He uses veal brains, “the peculiar and intense creaminess of brains… punctuated with a garlicky bite of mustard garlic.”
Twist Street
Sam Westing, Barney Northrup, Sandy McSouthers, Julian R. Eastman, & Me
Here’s a video entitled “Tyrese on women: They should ‘shut it up’ in the beginning of a relationship“… Goddammit. Tyrese is letting women know all of our secrets, guys! How did we let this happen???
From the back-cover: “The age-old discussion of roles and expectations in the new world of relationships has a new blueprint: it’s called Manology.”— Vin Diesel.
I really hope Vin Diesel uses that blueprint to build a car that he drives off the Statue of Liberty… Take that, Relationships!! You just entered the Xander Zone, interpersonal relationships…
But if you think about it, men are from ride and women are from or die…
Channel 101: Return to Supermans - Episode 1
If you call yourself a Superman fan and haven’t seen “Return to Supermans,” then don’t even talk to me.
(via channel101tumblr)
Most other Twitter clichés fit into another, less noticeable but equally irritating category: the hoary, unfunny catchphrase. These are played-out expressions seemingly meant to telegraph to the reader that the writer is a humorous person who understands jokes. (Though they’re most certainly not jokes themselves.) Like “not The Onion,” they aren’t specific to Twitter. They thrive there though, acting act as a sort of original-thought substitute, a way of saying something without actually saying something.
Take the phrase “I see what you did there.” It’s a standard way of acknowledging someone else’s cleverness that’s been around forever. It’s long been big on Twitter.
Or “stay classy,” which, nine years after it appeared in Anchorman, seems to show no signs of letting up as the default thing to say when a person or entity has disgusted you. (Anchorman 2 returns this holiday season, so, prepare.)
Or “well-played, sir” (a personal least-favorite of mine), which is usually a too-cute way of saying “you did something clever.”
Or that thing where people start tweets with “that thing where.” Or “shots fired.” Or “I can’t even with this” or “Too soon.” Or “serious question” to preface an obviously serious question. “Or apparently __ is a thing.” Or “pro tip.” Or “this is why we can’t have nice things.” Or “derp,” which recently ran into a much-deserved backlash. Or…well, I could go on for a while here.
(Oh: the latest craze, for some reason, is to begin your tweet with “in which,” as if you were a character in a 19th-century novel and this was one of your whimsical chapter headings. In Which this trend needs to stop now.)
(Source: comicsreporter.com)
![Cover of the new issue of Wired Magazine, seen at a newsstand. ”P[age] 100: Why We Love Movie Trailers.” Put down your calculators, science; go blow yourselves, Watson & Crick— Wired Magazine cracked it. That got onto the cover! That was cover-worthy! ”Why we love movie trailers”? I always figure they put the best stuff on the cover of magazines so … what the hell else was in that issue? ”Bubblegum: Chew or Swallow? Boy, The Internet Changes Everything!”
Do people who are wired into the cyber-robot-future or whatever… were they confused about their feelings about movie trailers before? Can we ask somebody, Chris Hardwick or those Autotune geniuses or whoever, what part of movie trailers they were undecided about? I don’t know— I binged Why Do We Love Movie Trailers, and I found a whole long essay explaining why people love movie trailers, right away. Just bing it!](http://24.media.tumblr.com/2e4a7d6cb5e2192b9459f6738eeb07d9/tumblr_mocvp1Ra2Y1qabyxlo1_500.jpg)
Cover of the new issue of Wired Magazine, seen at a newsstand. ”P[age] 100: Why We Love Movie Trailers.” Put down your calculators, science; go blow yourselves, Watson & Crick— Wired Magazine cracked it. That got onto the cover! That was cover-worthy! ”Why we love movie trailers”? I always figure they put the best stuff on the cover of magazines so … what the hell else was in that issue? ”Bubblegum: Chew or Swallow? Boy, The Internet Changes Everything!”
Do people who are wired into the cyber-robot-future or whatever… were they confused about their feelings about movie trailers before? Can we ask somebody, Chris Hardwick or those Autotune geniuses or whoever, what part of movie trailers they were undecided about? I don’t know— I binged Why Do We Love Movie Trailers, and I found a whole long essay explaining why people love movie trailers, right away. Just bing it!
Princess Diana, ballin’ hard.
(via zebrazygotes)
That’s My Boy (2012): Yeah, the Adam Sandler movie. I don’t remember the precise decisionmaking process that lead to me watching this— I’d been drinking and all that stuff, so I’m going to blame that, like people do. I remember being curious about it back when because there were supposedly uncredited rewrites by Robert Smigel, David Wain, and Ken Marino; plus, I usually like Andy Samberg. I skip most of Adam Sandler’s movies but I did like the Zohan one that Smigel helped write. And… I just don’t know what can really be said of the movie. I just … I really don’t know what a person can even say. I just really thought Hot Rod would be the weirdest movie Andy Samberg ever made but … I really found this quite odd. Just in that— Adam Sandler has this big family audience, and this movie’s just got a lot of semen and strippers and whatever in it…? It’s basically a gross-out comedy about molestation…? It’s the kind of movie where they could’ve settled for a semen gag but then they added vomit anyways…? I found this whole thing just pretty, pretty weird.
It made me want to see Jack and Jill.
Surrounded mostly by sandstone, the water is completely isolated from any possible contamination. The therapeutic and curative properties of Waiwera water are legendary. The local Maori revered it as “Te Rata”(“The Doctor”) for its ability to level acidity in the blood and increase resistance to disease.
This is The End (2013): This one was just too much in my wheelhouse for me to really have a trustworthy opinion on. Some missed opportunities to it, sure (I feel like there’s probably a cut where the jokes about one another’s careers get much darker, more of a Larry Sanders cut, sitting in an editing bay somewhere— it’s more a Summer Movie than the Harsh Self-Critique/Self-Destruction that I guess part of me would prefer)(plus: they really should try to put a funny actress in one of their movies sometime, though people getting yell-y about that point on tumblr’s nothing I’m especially looking forward to). But— a hard-R-rated drug-happy meta-comedy about friendship, celebrity, and Los Angeles? I’m just too much the audience for that, to even be remotely trustworthy on this one. If there was more nudity, I wouldn’t even write anything— I’d just put a photo of unicorns shitting fireworks here.
I’ve been listening to Jeff Garlin’s podcast BY THE WAY lately— I like the Conan O’Brien and Will Ferrell episodes, in particular. I decided the other day that I really just wanted to take all of the sounds of Jeff Garlin laughing from the Will Ferrell episode and string them together into a single chain of laughter. I stopped after 48 minutes (of the hour and a half show) though, but here that is anyways— Jeff Garlin laughing just from the first half of that episode.
The new Southern Comfort ad. Directed by Tim Godsell who directed “Beach.” From Adweek: ”The brand says this campaign is all about getting consumers to ‘be their awesome selves.’” I like to think that’s what I’m all about, too.
All of these images…
A thriving metropolis unfolds in Maciek Janicki’s Paper City.
Ching Shih (1775–1844) also known as Cheng I Sao, was a prominent pirate in middle Qing China, who terrorized the China Sea in the early 19th century. She commanded over 300 junks manned by 20,000 to 40,000 pirates, another estimate has Cheng’s fleet at 1800 and crew at about 80,000— men, women, and even children. She challenged the empires of the time, such as the British, Portuguese and the Qing dynasty. Undefeated, she would become one of China and Asia’s strongest pirates, and one of world history’s most powerful pirates. She was also one of the few pirate captains to retire from piracy.
Finding it hopeless to defeat her, in 1810, amnesty was offered to all pirates, and Ching Shih took advantage of it. She ended her career that year, accepting an amnesty offer from the Chinese government. She kept her loot, and opened a gambling house. She died in 1844, at the age of 69.
Glancing at E3 coverage and one question about video games yet again rears its head— why don’t any of the guys in trailers for video games ever wear a suit? Red Dead Redemption had an estimated cost of $100 million dollars. The last Star Wars game cost $200 million dollars. For God’s sakes, put on a suit! There’s piles of money at stake. I mean, I know some of these guys might have spent whole minutes ironing their favorite black t-shirt, which is super impressive— well done. But some of these guys have beards, and therefore aren’t 13 years old. That = suit time. It’d be one thing if you were in a band or a professional DJ or something. But these guys work for EA— not Amoeba records.
When people make movies? They put on suits. Here’s a photo of Brett Ratner at the premiere of an X-Men movie no one liked. Guess what? He dressed for the occasion! And that’s Brett Ratner— he eats shrimp when he masturbates. He’s not the classiest guy, even.
