Twist Street

Month

February 2012

“I’ve always loved ghost stories, writers like M.R. James, L.P. Hartley, Joan Aiken, Stephen King, Joe Hill. But the scariest story I’ve ever heard was a true ghost story.  There were eight or nine of us at a restaurant in Raleigh, North Carolina, and we were telling ghost stories. The friend of a friend said, ‘When I was a girl living in Texas, I had a recurring dream. In this dream, I was walking down the street of my hometown, and a man would walk toward me. Sometimes he was older and sometimes he was younger. He didn’t always have the same face, but I always knew it was the same man. He would get closer and closer, and I would know that something bad was going to happen, but I would wake up each time before he reached me. I would be terrified.

One night, in my dream, we finally got face to face and I spoke to him. I said, “What is your name?” He said, “My name is Sammy.” And then I woke up, and I was so afraid that I couldn’t go back to sleep. I went to my sister’s room and said, “Can I get in bed with you? I’ve just had a really bad dream.” My sister said, “Was it Sammy?” I said, “What did you say? How do you know Sammy?” And my sister said, “I don’t. But you just brought him in the room with you.” I turned on the lights and I saw that my sister was asleep.’”

— Kelly Link

Jan 31, 201218 notes

January 2012

Splitsider: Talking Key & Peele With Series Director Peter Atencio → splitsider.com

They showed a small preview of this show at a Meltdown movie night a million years ago and I’ve been looking forward to it since.

atencio:

I did an interview with my friend Natasha Vargas-Cooper for comedy website Splitsider. It’s really self-indulgent, but if you’re interested in directing sketch comedy, I go into a lot of detail about how I approached doing the show. Which premieres tonight at 10:30. Please watch it, or else I have to go back to making porn.

Jan 31, 2012116 notes
#Comedy-Nerdery-Is-a-Go.
Jan 31, 201211 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby? #drawrings
Play
Jan 31, 20123 notes
#Muppet Mondays. #Civilization is Doomed.
“A 10-year-old boy was arrested after knocking on the door of a 67-year-old woman and pointing a toy gun at her.The boy, whose identity was not released because he is a minor, picked the house in the 1100 block of Evergreen Street in Burbank because the woman’s grandson reportedly beat up his friend at school, Burbank police Lt. John Dilibert told the Burbank Leader. The boy allegedly yelled “you suck” at the woman while pointing the gun at her and then running away, Dilibert said.” —Wait— a kid’s friend got beat up so he retaliated by trying to scare the bully’s grandmother to death with a toy gun…?  Who’s teaching this kid the Chicago Way when he’s 10? Who is that  Machiavellian when they’re 10 year old?  Who’s saying “I’m the one who knocks!” at 10 years old??  (P.S. A Breaking Bad Babies cartoon would be the best cartoon ever made; can that happen?  Is there a Kickstarter for a BBB cartoon?  Etsy?  Friendster?).
Jan 30, 20125 notes
#Civilization is Doomed. #All I Ever Write About on this blog is Television...
“America innovates every day, in a myriad of fields. The field of metamaterials, for instance — invisibility cloaks, and hiding events from time itself? That’s just today, as I talk to you, and that’s all American. I realize there’s a narrative that America is all done, and doesn’t make stuff any more, and it’s midnight for the American experiment and all that, but that ignores the basic mathematics of a country with three hundred million people in it. For every bunch of dubiously photogenic fetal-alcohol-syndrome cases from New Jersey who get on the TV for ten minutes, there are ten times as many people at MIT inventing the future.” —Warren Ellis.
Jan 30, 201211 notes
Play
Jan 29, 201240 notes
#Channel101.
Jan 29, 201232 notes
#Channel101.
Jan 29, 20125 notes
#Civilization is Doomed.
Play
Jan 28, 20123 notes
#Simply Jeff Goldblum
“If I had it all to do over again, I’d cut off my hands.” —Wally Wood.  Comics: An industry with a long history of intellectual property theft, self-censorship, fly-by-night Hollywood scam publishing swindles, endless holofoiled death-bagged gimmickery, bait-and-switch crossover thieving, mindless speculator madness, suicides, and betrayals, funded by meth-related money-laundering schemes, that now wants to spend all day every day lecturing its audience for not living up to the very, very high moral standards of the comic book industry.  Yikes.    
Jan 28, 201248 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby?
Play
Jan 28, 20121 note
#Songs.
Jan 28, 20123 notes
#Ernest Borgnine is the Dreamiest! #movies i saw in 2012 #insomniyeah!
Jan 27, 201272 notes
#Comedy-Nerdery-Is-a-Go.
Jan 27, 20123 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby?
I FOUND ICE CUBES 'GOOD DAY'

samhumphries:

murkavenue:

CLUE 1:
     “went to short dogs house,
       they was watching Yo MTV
       RAPS”
Yo MTV RAPS first aired:
               Aug 6th 1988
CLUE 2:
Ice Cubes single “today was a good day” released on:
               Feb 23 1993
CLUE 3:
      ”The Lakers beat the Super 
       Sonics”
Dates between Yo MTV Raps air date AUGUST 6 1988 and the release of the single FEBRUARY 23 1993 where the Lakers beat the Super Sonics:
      Nov 11 1988    114-103
      Nov 30 1988    110-106
      Apr    4 1989    115-97
      Apr  23 1989    121-117
      Jan  17 1990    100-90
      Feb  28 1990    112-107
      Mar  25 1990    116-94
      Apr  17  1990    102-101
      Jan  18  1991    105-96
      Mar  24  1991    113-96
      Apr  21  1991    103-100
      Jan  20  1992    116-110
CLUE 4:
Dates of those Laker wins over SuperSonics where it was a clear day with no Smog:
                Nov 30 1988
                Apr   4  1989
                Jan 18  1991
                Jan 20  1992
CLUE 5:
     “Got a beep from Kim, and
         she can fuck all night”
beepers weren’t adopted by mobile phone companies until the 1990s. Dates left where mobile beepers were availible to public:
                 Jan 18 1991
                 Jan 20 1992
CLUE 6:
Ice Cube starred in the film “Boyz in the hood” that released late Summer of 1991, but was being filmed mid-late 1990 early 1991 and Ice Cube was busy on set filming the movie Jan 18 1991 too busy to be lounging around the streets with no plans. Ladies and Gentlemen..

The ONLY day where:
Yo MTV Raps was on air
It was a clear and smogless day
Beepers were commercially sold
Lakers beat the SuperSonics
and Ice Cube had no events to attend was…
         
          JANUARY 20 1992
      National Good Day Day

-Donovan

This man is a fucking scholar for the ages.

Jan 27, 201216,286 notes
#excitement! #culture!
“When Shyamalan takes Kahn on a tour of Philadelphia, two different people recognize him and ask to have their picture taken with him. At several point, various random strangers turn to the camera and point how incredibly handsome Shyamalan is. It’s like “This is Spinal Tap,” if “Spinal Tap” was about how awesome Christopher Guest looked when he played guitar. One of the supporting characters in the film is a pizza delivery man, who repeatedly brings Kahn and the crew food in their hotel room, and begins to critique their work and even teaches them about Latino supernatural myths because, hey, that’s what pizza guys usually do when they bring you pizza, right?” —Apparently, M. Night Shyamalan made one of those horror fake-documentaries, but about himself.  It’s, of course, THREE HOURS LONG and filled with people saying how “incredibly handsome” he is, supernatural Latino pizza delivery men, and one of his “former neighbors” claiming that people often “drive through his old Philly neighborhood looking for him.”  Still: probably better than Signs.
Jan 27, 20124 notes
#Ernest Borgnine is the Dreamiest!
Jan 27, 20123,518 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby?
A Moon Base???

What the hell is going on?

“I’d like to have an American on the moon before the Chinese get there.” I’m pretty sure that happened already.

Jan 27, 20122 notes
#Civilization is Doomed.
Jan 27, 201212 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby? #Visual-feed.
Jan 27, 201219 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby? #drawrings
Play
Jan 26, 20121 note
#Youtube Gives Me Feelings. #Comedy-Nerdery-Is-a-Go.
Jan 26, 20125,514 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby?

Every 3 years, attorneys are required to sit through hours of “continuing education,” including mandatory hours on Detection/Prevention of Substance Abuse or Mental Illness (i.e. we all hate our jobs but you’re bumming us out about it), “Ethics” (i.e. your clients are totally going to sue you for being an idiot, you idiot), and my favorite “Elimination of Bias” (i.e. don’t be such a racist, you racist).  Most of which are available in online courses.  So I have this woman droning in my ear while I’m trying to get things done about “Substance Abuse”— her latest advice is I should reduce my stress by “trying to take more vitamins.”  Vitamins!  Substances always get a bad rap in these training seminars.  No one ever mentions how they make rap music more fun to listen to.  The idea is to try to make lawyers use substances less often, and the solution they’ve come up with is making lawyers have to spend another hour out of their lives in a state of total drudgery, listening to the babbling of morons?  Which: isn’t that what makes everyone everywhere want to use substances to begin with??  I got some fish oil though, so bye bye, hillbilly heroin— fish oil’s my copilot now.

Jan 26, 20123 notes
#Doogie Did This Before the Internet.
“Hours after four of his town’s police officers were arrested on federal charges of harassing and abusing Latinos, East Haven Mayor Joseph Maturo in Connecticut said he could reach out to the Latino community by going home and eating a taco. At one point he was interviewed by WPIX-TV’s Mario Diaz, who asked the mayor, “What are you doing for the Latino community today?” “I might have tacos when I go home. I’m not quite sure yet,” the mayor responded.” —LA Times. 
Jan 26, 20122 notes
#Civilization is Doomed.
Play
Jan 26, 201213 notes
#Comedy-Nerdery-Is-a-Go.
Jan 26, 201211 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby? #drawrings #Insomni-yeah!
Jan 25, 2012390 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby? #drawrings
Jan 25, 20127 notes
#Ernest Borgnine is the Dreamiest!
“More generally what thinking about this points up is something I don’t think I’ve ever seen acknowledged in the piracy debate. That lost money has gone somewhere. It’s not just been saved up or spent on evil pirate cocaine or all been siphoned into Kim Dotcom’s pockets. It’s now being spent on other things. Good things. Deserving things, very often, made by creative and talented people. So turning the clock back and getting people to pay for music again - if that’s the industry plan - contains an unspoken trap. If, magically, free music were to vanish and all music had to be paid for again, people would be in a position of choosing between music and the stuff they now spend music dollars on. And there is no guarantee at all they’d say “goodbye books, tech, food and games, come back music!”. And if they did, what happens to that stuff?” —

Blue Lines Revisited: So, What ARE People Buying Instead Of Music?

 
Jan 25, 201234 notes
Jan 25, 2012935 notes
#Comedy-Nerdery-Is-a-Go.
“Managers of the Valley Heritage Park in England are considering introducing a hive of honey bees in order to deter vandals from damaging historic buildings. “They could be a deterrent,” Barbara Chick, publicity officer for the Welsh Beekeepers’ Association, told the BBC. “I haven’t heard of them being used as security bees.” Chick said there may be some resistance to the move, because of safety issues if someone was stung by the “security bees.” —If only they’d let me give the ebola virus to hyenas and set my precious ebola hyena death squads loose in Valley Heritage Park, we wouldn’t have so many hooligans getting stung to death by bees, or being sprayed by the skunks we set loose to kill the bees, or being bitten by the rabid coyotes that we set loose to kill the skunks.  Hubris, that’s the only word for it, and we all know the only cure for hubris is hyenas infected with the ebola virus.  (The only cure for hyenas infected with the ebola virus is a schizophrenic giraffe with machine guns taped to its sides being ridden by a meth-fueled Haley Joel Osment, but fingers crossed, it won’t come to that).  
Jan 24, 20121 note
#Civilization is Doomed.
“A Los Angeles man was arrested for allegedly smoking pot on a Jet Blue flight headed to Newark, N.J. Adam Blumenkranz, 43, of Los Angeles reportedly lit up a marijuana pipe mid-flight on Monday in the plane’s bathroom, KTLA-TV reported. He is charged with possession of a controlled dangerous substance and drug paraphernalia. Police said Blumenkranz told them he did not believe he had done anything wrong because he has a medical marijuana card.” —Little old ladies can’t bring a tube of toothpaste onto airplanes without FAA apparatchiks threatening to deport Grandma Porridge off to Guantanamo, but Poindexter T. Einstein over here got a lighter, a pipe, and at least a bowl’s worth of marijuana onto Jet Blue…!   
Jan 24, 20122 notes
#Civilization is Doomed.
“Because the biggest thing the web is doing is allowing people to hear things. Allowing people to read things. Allowing people to see things that they would never have otherwise seen. And I think, basically, that’s an incredibly good thing.” —Neil Gaiman, discussing internet piracy.
Jan 24, 201216,690 notes
Jan 24, 2012153 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby?
Play
Jan 24, 20124 notes
#Daniel San made it in Taiwan
Jan 24, 2012792 notes
#Comedy-Nerdery-Is-a-Go.
Play
Jan 24, 2012232,995 notes
#Youtube Gives Me Feelings. #Songs.
Jan 23, 2012
#Civilization is Doomed.
“Hey, hey, yo! Cuba Gooding! Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! We got Aziz here, motherfucker. He’s trying to make us laugh with his cock out, motherfucker. Shut up and let him do his shit. Black people, we gotta stick together, Aziz.” —Cuba Gooding Jr, attempting to rescue Aziz Ansari performing for an unappreciative Drake (!) audience by yelling out his own name.
Jan 23, 20122 notes
#Comedy-Nerdery-Is-a-Go.
Jan 23, 2012201 notes
#Girls! Girls! Girls! #Ernest Borgnine is the Dreamiest!
Jan 23, 201216 notes
#drawrings #Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby?
Play
Jan 23, 20122 notes
#movies i saw in 2012
Jan 22, 2012184 notes
Play
Jan 22, 201214 notes
#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby? #Youtube Gives Me Feelings.
Jan 21, 201214,661 notes
#Muppet Mondays.
Play
Jan 20, 20124 notes
#movie trailers.
“It was completely misunderstood. My only intention was to explain the fact that I would do anything to protect my family – I would put myself in harms way to protect my family or innocent people. That was it. First and foremost, I am not an actor. I am a real guy from the streets and I’ve been in a lot of situations.” —Mark Wahlberg’s apology to the families of 9/11, for his prior claims that he could’ve single-handedly prevented the attacks on the World Trade Center.  Wikipedia has a description of one of those situations:  ”At 15, he harassed a group of black school children on a field trip by throwing rocks and shouting racial epithets.”  So, he’s basically just like Liam Neeson from Taken, basically.
Jan 20, 20124 notes
#Ernest Borgnine is the Dreamiest!
Jan 20, 2012435 notes
#Visual-feed. #Girls! Girls! Girls!
Jan 20, 201218 notes
#I want to remember this for later.
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