“10. ‘The Great Gatsby’/‘The Wolf of Wall Street’/‘The Bling Ring’/‘Spring Breakers’/‘Pain and Gain’/‘American Hustle’ Six variations on the big theme of our times: “Just look at all my stuff!” It’s capitalism, baby! Grab what (and who) you can, and do whatever feels good. We’re all going to hell (or jail, or Florida) anyway.”—From AO Scott’s Movies of the Year article. I guess it’s been a pretty weirdly consistent year for movies, thematically.
“I remember I saw I Am Legend during the writer’s strike, and I had a panic attack and I had to go lie down in the public bathroom because it was a combination of out of work, too much time, movie in the middle of the day and then spoiler alert, Will Smith has to kill his dog and I was like, ‘Oh f—!’ And then I laid down in a New York movie theater bathroom and an old lady came in and she said, ‘Are you okay?’ And I said, ‘Oh, god! I Am Legend!’”—Amy Poehler (x)
“Writer A: Have someone tell the boring young wisecracking girl, like, “You need to decide why you’re here.” Someone’s said that to her every single episode but I don’t think the audience gets that she has to decide why she’s there. Not yet they don’t! It’s so suspenseful— what if she decides her place is actually a Jamba Juice or underneath a urinating hobo. Who knows????
Writer B: Then, Agent Bald can teach that black guy from the first episode how to be a good dad again. People who are still watching this show — they want the greatest hits! Let’s stick to the classics. Plus, we have the entire Marvel universe to set this in so—
Writer A: Long Beach?
Writer B: Exactly! So the black guy is going to act like a noble superhero this time, right? He’s going to be a really great character for kids to watch…?
Writer A: You almost had me going, you old so-and-so!
Writer B: I love to laugh with you! We have fun with our mischief. But no, no, he obviously acts like a massive pile of shit. But something is still missing… Acting like a big pile of shit isn’t enough….
Writer A: It’s based on Marvel comics and there’s a black character? Oh I know exactly how this should end!
Jake’s old pal Adam McKay stops by to chat about mixing up the Second City format with “Pinata Full of Bees,” the Bill Brasky SNL sketches, and the inspiration behind Anchorman.
Quite enjoying this conversation with Adam McKay. It’s them walking through some classic SNL sketches— I really want to see The Hulk Hogan Talk Show now but I can’t find it. (EDITED: It’s on Netflix!) I thought all the SNL sketches were on Yahoo but I can’t figure out how to work that thing. (They do have the Tina Fey Census Taker sketch which is one of the all-time greats)(but I can’t find Jack Handey’s Tales of Fraud and Malfeasance in Railroad Hiring Practices— that’s over here).
“One deputy, for example, was recently caught in an undercover sting trying to smuggle a heroin-stuffed burrito behind bars.”
— From this article about Los Angeles Sheriff Lt. Greg Thompson maybe-kinda-probably trying to get a confidential informant scared off and/or murdered on behalf of skinhead drug dealer gangsters with nicknames like the “Pest.” Heroin stuffed burrito.
Wow, back in August 2012, I was reading about how Lt. Greg Thompson tried to do some pretty questionable stuff with a confidential FBI informant— that finally got resolved today. ”City News Service is reporting that 18 current and former L.A. County Sheriff’s Department officials will be facing charges in connection with an FBI probe into excessive force and misconduct in county jails”:
According to documents obtained by the L.A. Times, seven L.A. County Sheriff’s Department officials have been indicted on charges of conspiracy, obstruction and giving false statements to the Feds.The officials named in the indictment are Lt. Gregory Thompson, Lt. Stephen Leavins, Sgt. Scott Craig, Sgt. Maricella Long, Deputy Gerard Smith, Deputy Mickey Manzo and Deputy James Sexton.
Ironically, three of the indicted officials were part of the “Operation: Safe Jails” program. […] Thompson and his Operation Safe Jail underlings would actively try to hide Anthony Brown from FBI officials who were working with him, even going so far as to remove him from the database, saying that he was released from custody. Meanwhile, Long and Craig tried to threaten the FBI Special Agent working with Brown by claiming that they were going to arrest her…
“Activism and art aren’t necessarily friends, y’know what I mean? Social activism can hurt art, cause art has edges, and it’s not about always being positive, and I came out in that whole era where everything had to be positive, because gay men were dying like flies and we were being demonized, so everything had to be positive, and comedy’s not about positive, comedy’s about the ugliness. You turn over the rock and see what’s under it, bring things out of the darkness. And that’s not good for people who are trying to save the world”—Scott Thompson (via wheelsoffury)
“We’re not afraid of the burglars," [Rep. George] Miller said, "because we’ve been burgled twice and they took nothing."
The living room, virtually the only room on the first floor of the house, also serves as [Senator Chuck] Schumer’s bedroom. But “bedroom” is a generous term. He sleeps on a mattress next to the kitchen. He half-made his bed for our visit, which [Sen. Dick] Durbin said was a lot more effort than Schumer usually makes.
[…]The freezer doesn’t work. The refrigerator is a sight to behold, but exactly what you would imagine based on the rest of the house: beer cans and old food, including a baguette so hard that Schumer grabbed it and demonstrated how you can use it as a weapon.”—CNN’s description of the Washington DC home shared by Rep. George Miller, and Senators Chuck Schumer and Dick Durbin. There’s video— he sleeps under a cardboard cutout of Barack Obama…(?).
“Larry David had problems picking up women, I think. He knows the exact setup, but the only way he had the nerve and maybe try to meet a woman was sing out this song: ‘My name is O’Banion, and I want a companion!’ So I heard that and whether you think it’s funny or not, just to think of that is enough. The guy’s got a gold mine.”—Richard Lewis.
“Stand against snark, and you are standing with everything decent. And who doesn’t want to be decent? The snarkers don’t, it seems. Or at least they (let’s be honest: we) don’t want to be decent on those terms.
What is this defining feature of our times? What is snark reacting to?
It is reacting to smarm.”—
This Gawker essay “On Smarm" (c/o)… I want to quote, like, everything. This bit: “Smarm offers a quick schema of superiority. The authority that smarm invokes is an ersatz one, but the appearance of authority is usually enough to get by with. Without that protection, to hold an opinion is to feel bare and alone, one voice among a cacophony of millions.” Or this bit— “Sympathy begets sympathy, to the benefit of things that don’t deserve to be sympathized with”-!!! ”Snark may speak in cynical terms about a cynical world, but it is not cynicism itself. It is a theory of cynicism. The practice of cynicism is smarm.”
It’s got a nice long side-swipe of that Dave Eggers “Be nice to me because I’m faymouuuuus" quote too (which if you like when you’re in your 30’s and should be starting to know anything about the world… well, god help your little, little mind).
So yeah, I quite, quite enjoyed this one. It even attacks someone with Down Syndrome’s political beliefs! Hell yeah, let’s do that more! Let’s just burn this whole thing down, Pookie! Fired up! Quick— get thee to a Youtube comment section!
“She would come drugged up to set. Would walk around naked (not that that’s a bad thing), she would shave her pu**y in front of crew, she had her period one time and asked the AD (assistant director) for a tissue for her “pu**y” and then she left said bloody tissue on set and in the bathroom. This one time she made a PA go into the bathroom with her and made the girl PA hold her hand while she took a sh*t.”—Anonymous gossip about Paz de la Huerta from the set of Boardwalk Empire.
“I hate those bike lanes. ’Cause I work in midtown, and not one day goes by that someone on a bike doesn’t curse at me. Hey, bike people, what are you so angry about? Nobody made you ride a bike! Also, where are you going in such a hurry, that you’re going there on a bike? If you’re an emergency heart surgeon going to an emergency on your bike, don’t curse at me. Just yell, like, ‘Heart surgeon!’ and I’ll move.
Bike people are always so surprised and mad that you don’t hear them coming. They don’t understand that their bike is silent, and you can’t hear it over the noise of Times Square. ’Cause let me tell you something. If I’m crossing 50th and Broadway, this is what I’m watching out for, in this order: cars; killers; people in Elmo costumes who can’t see; those gangs of teenagers who are punching people in the back of the head; FreshDirect guys; rat babies; then bikes. Then bikes.
Bike people are so judge-y and angry. You’re not more green than me—I’m walking! If I walk, and I’m wearing 10-year-old sneakers, and I hold in my flatulence, I’m, like, off the grid! I’m like my own ecosystem.”—Tina Fey. ”rat babies”
“Right now, the brothers are plainly excited about what they’re writing, which they proudly explain, is set in ancient Rome. It’s the allure of the unexpected, all over again.
“It’s like: Would you ever do a sandal movie?” laughs Joel. “It’s big,” says Ethan, grinning. “We’re interested in the big questions. And we don’t (expletive) around with subtext. This one especially.”
Though their movies usually revel in the absurdity of life’s predicaments, Ethan promises this film has answers: “It’s not like our piddly ‘A Serious Man.’” Chimes Joel: “That was a cop-out. We just totally chickened out on that one.”
“We hadn’t grown up,” says Ethan. “In that respect, OK, we have matured. We’re ready to answer the big questions now.”—The Coen Brothers, messing with the Associated Press. ”We don’t (expletive) around with subtext… We’re ready to answer the big questions now.”